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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/29385066">what i have to leave behind</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/Pepperdoken/pseuds/Pepperdoken'>Pepperdoken</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>Dreaming of Sunshine - Silver Queen</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Found Family, Gen, Intelligence Division Arc, Summoning Scrolls &amp; Animal Summons</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2021-02-12</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2021-02-12</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-13 07:35:52</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>General Audiences</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>No Archive Warnings Apply</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>1</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>1,512</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/29385066</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/Pepperdoken/pseuds/Pepperdoken</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>“Have you considered signing a summoning scroll?” Kakashi asks idly.</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Hatake Kakashi &amp; Nara Shikako, Hatake Kakashi &amp; Pakkun</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>21</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>491</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Collections:</b></td><td>Dreaming of Sunshine Exchange 2020 C (Winter Round!), Heliocentrism — a Dreaming of Sunshine recursive collection</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>what i have to leave behind</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><ul class="associations">
      <li>For <a href="https://archiveofourown.org/users/tossedwaves/gifts">tossedwaves</a>.</li>



    </ul></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
“Have you considered signing a summoning scroll?” Kakashi asks idly on their way back from the Uchiha outpost.
</p>
<p>
It’s anything but idle, for all that he makes it sound that way. He can feel his time running out, like the blood gushing from an arterial wound, and he just… can’t do enough. He can’t teach his students properly: Jiraiya has taken Naruto away already, to train him to be able to hold his own against Akatsuki, Tsunade is keeping Sasuke in the village — officially, anyway — to protect him from Orochimaru, and Shikako—
</p>
<p>
Shikako is a special jounin already, whose every brush with death is a reminder that one day even <em>her</em> intelligence and luck will run into something she can’t overcome.
</p>
<p>
The only thing he can do for his students is pass over <em>things</em>. 
</p>
<p>
A book of the jutsu he’s copied for the three of them. 
</p>
<p>
Minato-sensei and Kushina’s belongings, being held in trust for Naruto. 
</p>
<p>
His father’s sword for Sasuke. 
</p>
<p>
And for Shikako… Well. Kakashi’s question hangs in the air.
</p>
<p>
Shikako gives him a sidelong look, then shrugs. “Kind of,” she says easily. “I’ve actually been considering asking for permission to sign one of the clan’s scrolls — probably the deer, I’d rather have summons I can fight alongside than summons that are only useful as messengers.”
</p>
<p>
He makes a sound of acknowledgement and lets the subject drop, and teases her on her still faulty scent masking technique to get her mind off it.
</p>
<p>
And when they get back to the village, he makes a vague excuse and leaves Shikako to do the reporting in.
</p>
<p>
Instead, he heads to the jounin commander’s office.
</p>
<p>
“Shikako mentioned that she wants to ask permission to sign one of the Nara’s summoning contracts,” Kakashi eventually says — sooner than he usually would get to the point, but this is important enough that he shouldn’t circle around too much. “Probably the deer.”
</p>
<p>
Shikaku barely pauses in sorting through paperwork as he replies, “And?”
</p>
<p>
“Make sure she actually <em>wants</em> the deer,” Kakashi continues, “and that she’s not just settling for them as her best choice.”
</p>
<p>
Shikaku leans back in his chair at that, and watches him with an expression that reminds him so much of Shikako. “I can do that, but why do you want me to?”
</p>
<p>
“I want to offer her the chance to sign the dog contract.” He doesn’t — quite — blurt it out, but it’s the first time he’s actually said the words since the idea occurred to him. The first time he’s allowed himself to really <em>think</em> about the idea. “I have to actually clear it with them before I can make the offer, but… My pack likes her. I don’t expect them to have a problem with it.”
</p>
<p>
The fact that Kakashi is slowly dying sits unspoken between them for a long moment. That he’s doing everything he can to protect and prepare his students for when he’ll no longer be there. It’s obvious that that’s what is prompting his decision — and thankfully, Shikaku doesn’t question it like Tsunade would.
</p>
<p>
Instead he just watches Kakashi with a steady gaze for a long moment before finally nodding. “I’ll see what her reasons are before I give permission, then.”
</p><hr/>
<p>
When he gets home, Kakashi summons Pakkun.
</p>
<p>
He’s under orders to restrict his chakra usage to the bare minimum. This is skimming the edges of the order, if not deliberately violating it, and Kakashi doesn’t care.
</p>
<p>
Pakkun doesn’t feel the same way. His eyes scan Kakashi’s apartment, and then fix on him disapprovingly. “Boss—” he starts.
</p>
<p>
“I want to offer the dog scroll to Shikako,” Kakashi interrupts. He’s <del>probably</del> not dying tomorrow, but now that he’s said it out loud — he wants to take care of it before it’s too late.
</p>
<p>
(Before he dies, or Shikako signs another summoning contract.)
</p>
<p>
Pakkun pauses. “I thought you were considering Sasuke for that?”
</p>
<p>
“He wanted one of the Uchiha contracts.” And it makes sense, that his student would pick the hawks — it had been his mother’s.
</p>
<p>
Tilting his head, Pakkun says, “Shikako-chan’s probably a better fit for us anyway. Give me an hour before summoning me again, I’ll clear it with the Boss. She won’t say no, though.”
</p>
<p>
Kakashi watches as Pakkun dismisses himself, a little surprised. He’s never met the dog scroll’s boss summons — he’s never had to. Kakashi was accepted as a summoner based entirely on being his father’s son, just like every Hatake before him.
</p>
<p>
Pakkun seems certain that the answer will be yes, and from a logical standpoint — it makes sense to agree to a new summoner. Kakashi is the last Hatake. When he dies, there’s no one else to take the contract — the dogs would have to wait until someone reverse summons themselves to have a new summoner.
</p>
<p>
(His pack knows that Obito’s eye is killing him — he can’t hide how much harder chakra exhaustion hits him these days — but Kakashi has… neglected to inform them that he has about a year left at most. He doesn’t want his pack to know how little time he has left.)
</p>
<p>
So it makes sense — but just because it’s <em>logical </em>doesn’t mean that they would agree to it.
</p>
<p>
But in the end, when Kakashi summons Pakkun again, he returns with a resounding <em>yes</em>.
</p><hr/>
<p>
Shikako is thoughtful the next time they meet up for team training — but then again, when isn’t she?
</p>
<p>
She stands back and watches as Kakashi set Sasuke up with summoning exercises. No summoning contract has the same terms, but one thing that every summoner has in common is learning how to reliably summon who they want. It’s something that Sasuke will just have to learn by experience.
</p>
<p>
She doesn’t jump in and start practicing the exercises with Sasuke, like he’d half expected, or mention that she’s going to sign the deer contract. Instead, she sighs but agrees to more sword training — she’s improved a lot since he started training her, but there’s always room for improvement. 
</p>
<p>
<em>Especially </em>with the level of fights she’s shown herself willing to jump into.
</p>
<p>
(<em>Zabuza, Orochimaru, Itachi—</em>)
</p>
<p>
When they take a break, Sasuke asks, “I thought you were planning on signing one of your clan’s contracts, Shikako?” <em>Since both Naruto and I have one now</em> goes unsaid, but is implied.
</p>
<p>
Kakashi glances at them over his book.
</p>
<p>
“I asked dad for permission to sign the deer scroll, but… I didn’t actually want the <em>deer</em>.” Her mouth twists for a second. “They were just closest thing to what I want that my clan has.”
</p>
<p>
Sasuke asks the question that Kakashi is thinking. “Oh? What do you want, then?”
</p>
<p>
Kakashi half listens to an expanded version of the reasoning that he’d heard before, but when it comes to what summons she would choose...
</p>
<p>
She doesn’t look at Kakashi or Sasuke when she says, “Not one that I can ask to sign.” She shrugs, apparently unconcerned. “I’ll figure something out.”
</p>
<p>
“Reverse summoning yourself is risky,” Kakashi offers, and puts them both back to work.
</p>
<p>
By the time training ends, he still hasn’t figured out how to bring up offering Shikako the dog contract, but he doesn’t have to. 
</p>
<p>
Shikako brings it up herself.
</p>
<p>
“Do you have any suggestions for what I should do, sensei?” she asks, when Kakashi lingers after practice for once, after Sasuke has left to go about his day. “If my clan doesn’t have a contract that fits what I want, and it’d be dangerous to reverse summon myself…” She trails off. 
</p>
<p>
It’s not quite a request, but it’s an opening. Kakashi takes it. “Have you considered signing the dog summoning contract?”
</p>
<p>
The look of honest surprise and delight tells him what her answer will be before she even says it.
</p><hr/>
<p>
Several weeks later, Shikako still doesn’t have any permanent pack members. There are apparently far more dog summons than Kakashi was aware of, and they all wanted to get a measure of their new summoner and see how well they work with her.
</p>
<p>
She’d spent the first summoning session summoning each one of Kakashi’s pack and learning about their specialties. The experience seems to have some affect on the dogs that she focuses on: even though she gravitates towards the larger summons, those able to fight beside her, she makes sure that they can track, that they’re swift, that they can guard.
</p>
<p>
By this point there’s a pool of about a dozen summons that are still in the running for Shikako’s pack, but it doesn’t stop Pakkun from being the first one to respond when she starts summoning, both out of familiarity with her and by right of being part of Kakashi’s pack of summons. But since he <em>is</em> part of Kakashi’s pack, he stays out of the teamwork exercises Kakashi assigns to see how the summons will work together and with Shikako.
</p>
<p>
“Even once she has her own pack,” Pakkun says quietly from where he’s laying next to Kakashi, watching, “we’ll always answer if she summons us.”
</p>
<p>
Kakashi can hear the silent promise, and maybe he can’t do enough for his students — but this, at least, he can provide.
</p>
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